Beginning nursery is a big change for both children and parents. Many wonder how to prepare so settling in goes smoothly, what challenges to expect, and how to support emotional well-being. This article outlines what research tells us about the early transition, offers practical tips for parents, and points you to resources to help ensure starting nursery is a positive experience.
What Research Says About Starting Nursery
Several recent studies illustrate that children often experience anxiety or stress when they begin nursery. One survey found that separation anxiety is common for children under two when separated from their parents for the first time, especially in unfamiliar settings. Early years providers report that children may show signs of distress in the initial weeks, such as clinginess or disrupted sleep.
Data also suggest that children benefit long-term from early years settings that follow consistent routines and have staff trained in emotional support. The UK Government’s EYFS (Early Years Foundation Stage) framework emphasises that babies and toddlers flourish when key persons (a familiar adult in the setting) build strong relationships of trust. This becomes particularly important now, as more youngsters aged nine months and above attend nurseries.
A separate national survey revealed that 75% of UK parents of children under five are anxious about their child’s emotional and mental well-being, and many of those worries surface when starting nursery.
Practical Steps to Support Your Child when Starting Nursery
1. Visit the Nursery Early and Often
Getting familiar with surroundings before the first full day reduces fear of the unknown. Attend any “settling in” sessions offered by the nursery where children can spend a short time with staff and gradually become used to the environment. Meeting the key person and seeing the classroom, toilets, and play areas helps your child have mental images of what to expect.
2. Establish Consistent Home Routines
Routines at home for sleeping, meals, and play build a sense of stability. If the nursery’s schedule is similar to the home's, it encourages smoother transitions. For example, if the nursery has snack time at 10 a.m., try adapting mealtimes to match. A stable bedtime and calming pre-sleep ritual support rest, which many children find disrupted during early nursery days.
3. Talk and Read About Nursery
Children under five can benefit greatly from simple stories or conversations about going to nursery. Use books or make-up stories that show characters who feel nervous and later happy in their nursery. This helps them understand emotions and imagine themselves in a nursery. It also gives them vocabulary to express their own feelings.
4. Keep Good Communication with Staff
A nursery’s staff know more about children’s behaviour in that setting. Sharing your child’s preferences, routines, favourite toys, or comfort items enables staff to support them better. Ask the key person to tell you how your child is doing daily. Regular communication helps you catch signs of overwhelm or fatigue early.
5. Allow Adjustment in Full-Day or Part-Day Settings
Some nurseries offer short first days, part-days, or half sessions. These allow your child to adapt gradually. Don’t rush to full days if your child seems unsettled. Over time, you can build up. Expect some tearful or clingy days at first. Many children adjust after 2-4 weeks once routines feel familiar.
6. Use Transitional Objects
A familiar blanket, favourite toy, or comfort item can provide reassurance. Let your child take it with them to nursery. It can bridge the gap between home and nursery and offer comfort in distress.
How Parents’ Expectations Affect Outcomes
Parents anticipating starting nursery will bring emotional ups and downs, so they tend to support their children more patiently. Research from the UK shows that children are emotionally more settled when parents are consistent, patient, and aware that initial behaviours like clinginess, fatigue, or withdrawal do not necessarily mean nursery is wrong, but are part of adjustment.
Additionally, levels of staff interaction matter. Settings with well-trained early years practitioners who understand emotional development reduce stress for children. The EYFS report emphasises that adult consistency and responsive care benefit babies and toddlers.
Common Challenges and How to Address Them
Even with careful preparation, many families encounter challenges in the first few weeks of starting nursery. These hurdles are regular and often temporary, but understanding them in advance makes it easier to manage expectations and respond constructively.
Separation anxiety is one of the most common difficulties for young children. It often shows up as crying, clinging, or resisting entry into the nursery setting. While this can be distressing for parents, it is a natural stage of emotional development. The key is to build trust by creating predictable routines. Short separations before nursery begins can help children practise being apart from parents in a safe environment. Once nursery starts, a calm goodbye ritual, clear reassurance, and arriving for pick-up at the promised time all reinforce a sense of security. Avoid sneaking away, as this can break trust and heighten anxiety. Over time, children learn that goodbyes are temporary and will be collected consistently.
Sleep disruption is another hurdle. Many parents report that children struggle with naps or wake more often at night in the early weeks of nursery. This can stem from overstimulation, changes in routine, or emotional adjustment. Supporting your child with a steady bedtime routine at home can help restore balance. If the nursery offers rest periods, encourage staff to maintain familiar patterns, such as using a comfort blanket or following the child’s usual nap time. Extra patience and earlier bedtimes in the first month can also make a difference as children adapt to the increased demands of group learning and social play.
Behavioural changes like irritability, mood swings, or tantrums are also common during this period. Children may be processing new emotions, learning social boundaries, and coping with the tiredness of busy nursery days. Parents should interpret these behaviours as signs of transition stress rather than deliberate misbehaviour. Gentle reassurance, quiet time at home, and opportunities for one-to-one attention can help restore balance. Over time, most children become more emotionally regulated as they settle into the nursery routine and gain confidence in the new environment.
Parents themselves often feel overwhelmed by the transition. It is natural to question whether your child is ready or whether you have chosen the right setting. Open communication with nursery staff can ease this emotional strain, as they can share updates on how your child progresses during the day. Seeking support from parent groups or talking with friends who have been through the same stage can also provide reassurance. Knowing that many families face similar doubts helps parents feel less isolated and more confident in their decisions.
How To Tell If Things Are Going Well
It can be reassuring for parents to know what positive progress looks like after a child starts nursery. Adjustment is rarely immediate, but over the first few weeks, there are clear signs that your child is beginning to settle. One of the most noticeable indicators is increased curiosity and engagement in the setting. Children who once clung to their parents may start exploring toys, joining group activities, or showing interest in their peers. Watching them interact with staff or seek out playmates is a strong sign that confidence is building.
Another positive change often comes through sleep and appetite. At first, some children may struggle to nap or eat as usual, but as they adapt, you will notice routines falling back into place. Resting more easily at nursery, returning to established sleep patterns at home, and eating with enthusiasm all suggest that the stress of the transition is lessening. These shifts reflect a sense of security and comfort within the new environment.
Children may also start sharing stories about nursery in their own words. This could be as simple as mentioning a game they played, naming a friend, or talking about a teacher. Even young toddlers may use gestures or single words to express what they enjoyed. This communication shows that they are processing experiences positively and forming relationships that matter to them.
Behaviour at home is another useful guide. If tantrums, clinginess, or emotional outbursts begin to reduce, your child is adjusting emotionally and learning to cope with the separation. While occasional difficulties may still occur, the overall trend should gradually improve.
However, suppose after four to six weeks your child continues to be highly distressed, refuses to participate in activities, or struggles with eating and sleeping. Raising these concerns with nursery staff may be worthwhile. Early years practitioners can provide valuable insight into how your child behaves during the day, which might differ from what you see at home. If challenges persist, seeking advice from child wellbeing experts can offer tailored support to ease the transition.
Why Starting Nursery Well Matters
How children experience the early weeks of nursery sets a foundation for learning, emotional resilience, and social development. Early positive experiences help children feel secure, make friends, learn rules of group interaction, and build confidence. Poor starts may lead to anxiety, reluctance to attend, or less participation in activities.
In addition, parents who feel informed and supported in this stage can better engage with nursery staff, advocate for their child, and maintain consistency between home and nursery. That helps everyone feel more confident and reduces stress.
Final Thoughts
Starting nursery is a major milestone. Clear routines, good communication, familiar comfort items, short introductions, and realistic expectations can make the transition less stressful. Recognise that adjustment takes time and that early emotional responses are often typical. Using proven guidance and patience will help your child settle in confidently and easily.
